Gone
by EightofSwords
Summary: Sailor Moon’s feelings after the fight with Jadeite…if Tuxedo Mask hadn’t come back alive. A short and slightly sad narrative from Sailor Moon’s PoV.


A/N: This story's length matches Sailor Moon's height: very short. It takes place after Sailors Moon, Mercury, and Mars make those two airplanes speed towards Jadeite after he tells them that he kills Tuxedo Mask. This story explores what would have happened if Tuxedo Mask had gulp not shown up after Jadeite left.

Before I start the story, I really wanna thank all the people who reviewed "Never Been So Bright."

RR, you are the BEST. When I finally write a happy go-lucky story, remind me to include suction noises okay? wink, wink

Alica Blade, I was stunned to see that you had reviewed. Your name is, like, legend in the world of Sailor Moon fandom. I was glowing when I read your review.

Mae-E, I'm not sure exactly what your review said (does sort meant "thought"?) but the meaning was clear. Domo arigatou!

Angel-leigh, my first review EVER! Thank you so much! Your words about my story reigniting your interest in SM totally made my day. I was even grinning while I finished my Biology study guide. (Ugh.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. If I did, Darien would NEVER have worn that hideous green jacket.

Gone

"Tuxedo Mask!" Sailor Moon's scream tremored on a note of deafening desperation before fading into a hoarse whisper. The sound lingered in the air like smoke before being whisked away by the night wind.

"No," she breathed, her eyes still fixed on the undulating black waves as she collapsed to her knees. "No, he can't be gone."

Her fellow Senshi watched her in growing apprehension and concern. The blue-haired Mercury dropped down beside her leader and folded her arms around the blonde's shoulders. Mars lay a comforting hand between her odangoes, still standing in case Jadeite were to reappear.

Sailor Moon seemed oblivious to both of her friends' actions. Tears dripped from her sooty lashes. "No," she whispered, over and over again. "No, he can't be gone. Not again. Not again!"

Mercury's frightened and confused eyes met Mars' bewildered ones. "What does she mean, again?" Mars asked quietly, thinking that perhaps something like this had already happened before she had been reawaken, when only Moon and Mercury were Senshi.

Mercury shook her head. "I have no idea."

It was with heavy hearts that the two Senshi lifted their leader and half-carried, half-dragged her to her home and left her, with silent tears still streaming down her face, curled up on her bed.

_He's gone. Oh, God, he's gone._

Sailor Moon squeezed her eyes shut tight. Mercury and Mars had been gone for at least an hour now, and Luna had gone with them to give her room to breathe.

Sailor Moon knew she should detransform, in case any of her family was to pick the lock on her door – Shingo was not above doing that – and catch a Sailor Senshi in their daughter's room. But she didn't have the heart to. She had been in this form when she had seen him for the last time, and she felt that as long as she held this transformation, she might still see him again. He might come back. It was like trying to keep the remnants of a wonderful dream from leaking away from your memory, and as futile, she knew deep inside, as keeping water cupped within her hands.

She shouldn't be feeling this pain, this disbelief. This was how she would feel if her parents, or Shingo, or Molly, or Ami or Rei had died. If someone she had loved died.

But she hadn't even known Tuxedo Mask. They'd barely ever even exchanged words. She didn't even know his real name, much less his favorite flavor of ice cream.

She didn't know him.

She couldn't love him.

So why did it hurt so much?

Sailor Moon sucked in a long, shuddering breath, and rolled over onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. She scrabbled blindly around her feet for her blanket, and tugged it up over her head. Now she was in a world of darkness, a habitat to match the interior of her heart.

What had he felt, as he died? Had it been a blow from Jadeite that knocked his Life from him, or had he been able to watch it slowly drift away in the bubbles that escaped from his mouth as he drowned? Had he felt angry, as he died? Or had he been just sad, or maybe even glad that he had been able to keep Jadeite from the Senshi, if only for a short time? Had he felt pain? Had he suffered? Did he even have the time to feel the jaws of death closing around him, or had he not even realized he was about to die before he did?

These, these were the questions that burned at her insides, corroding her heart and searing her throat.

These were the questions that there was no answer to.

It was too hot. Too hot. She was burning.

She threw the covers off, and cool air pressed against her face like caressing hands. She flinched away from their overly-familiar touch, burrowing her head into the pillow once more. She had only ever wanted him to touch her like that. Only him.

But had he? How had he felt, about her?

The question lay like a rock in her stomach, heavy and immovable. She forced her eyes shut, desperately groping out in the darkness for sleep, for the Sandman to carry her away from this smoldering agony. Her hot hands clenched the pillowcase with white-knuckled fists, inaudible cries escaping her lips, because she knew that the Sandman would not come. He could not comfort her. There was no being in this Universe who could comfort her, now. There were no reassuring arms that could rock her to sleep, and cradle her as she explored Elysion. Those arms were limp, now, claimed by Death.

She didn't know him.

How could she love him?

It hurt so much.

_He's gone._

A/N: Melancholy, isn't it? I was listening to Keiko Matsui (whose songs just seem to correlate perfectly with Sailor Moon for me, she's even got a song called Moonlight Solider, and several others with Sailor Moon-esque titles) and this one song had this slow, sparkling melody that made me think of what stars would look like through tear-blurred eyes. The story kind of poured out of that thought. It's really short and hasn't got a plot, like my other story, but I think I might extend the story a bit. Depends on how many reviews I get. Reviews are my sustenance.


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